Racing to Find "The One."

Want to marry the right guy?

Feeling like you’re behind schedule?

As working Christian women, we like plans, goals, tasks to complete.  We are women of action!  That’s why it can be hard to really trust in God’s timing when it comes to love.  God doesn’t operate according to our check-lists (no, not even the color-coded ones).   And when you focus too much on making your life fit some master plan, you’re really putting your trust in yourself instead of God.

When I was in my 20s, I didn’t get this at all.  I had certain expectations for my life, and those expectations included marriage “on time” to “the one.”  So, when at the right age I met a guy who seemed to fit the criteria, I married him.  Oh, I didn’t marry him right away (in fact we had a few years of dating and engagement), but once I realized that I had chemistry with this guy who checked all the right boxes, I decided that he was the one.  From there on out, my mind was pretty-much made up.   I was so focused on fulfilling those expectations of mine that I ignored warning signs and failed to ask critical questions (of myself and him).  Thirteen years and two kids later, it all fell apart.


Even after all this time, I hate saying that.  Even happily remarried and knowing that God used my mistakes for so much good, I still hate it.  And if I could give you perfect instructions to avoid it, I would!  But I can’t.

I can tell you not to worry so much about the schedule and expectations you or anyone else (yes, mom included) has for your life.  God’s timing is so perfect and so wonderful.  He made you.  He knows you. And He’s on top of this.

My friend Joy blogs (and vlogs, and tweets, and facebook posts, and probably other things too) about Christian relationship building (check it out here–there’s some great stuff!).   She says that  instead of focusing so much on finding “the one,” Christians should focus on being the one (see the specific vlog here).

I think that’s great advice; whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or even married, focus on being the one that God has planned for you to be.  The more you build your relationship with God, the more sensitive you’ll be to His promptings and better able to discern His timing.

God has a perfect plan for you.  The world, your church, and maybe even your friends and family may tell you that you’re not “on schedule,” but God’s schedule is flawless.  Put your trust in His divine timing and know that if you pursue His will first, you cannot fail.