The Reality of Prince Charming
Meet Kellie Hill: Senior Project Manager at CBRE. In addition to meeting the demands of a successful and growing career, Kellie is engaged to be married to her Prince, Brian. She won’t call him her Prince Charming though. Kellie explains:
4word: Tell us a little bit about Brian. How did you meet and what attracted you to him?
Kellie: I first met Brian at a CREW (Commercial Real Estate Women) luncheon. I then subsequently began to see him at other industry functions and our business relationship grew into a more friendly relationship. However, it was his consistent invite to play golf on the weekends that finally brought us together. We began to play an executive course almost every weekend. We started out as friends and I truly tried to keep it a “business” relationship because I had an adamant rule that I would never date anyone in the industry I worked in.
I liked to keep business and personal very separate. However, Brian and I got along so well. We laughed so much and had very similar sense of humors and backgrounds, as well as similar interests. The fact that we understood each other’s work world was a huge bonus and gave us an endless supply of topics to talk about. It was just a matter of time until I fell in love with him. I fell in love with him for his heart. I call him my gentle giant and he is the most beautiful man inside that I have ever met. I had searched my entire adult life for a partner; one that would challenge me, make me a better person, and just love me for who I was – imperfections and all. He does exactly this.
4word: Our culture is fascinated by fairy tales and love stories. Do you think of Brian as your “Prince Charming?”
Kellie: No – Brian is not my Prince Charming, he is just my Prince. To put the stigma “Prince Charming” on a relationship gives the relationship a level of expectation that could never be met. Charming is not reality. It is a moment, a period of time where you are trying to boost the other individual (or yourself) in order to gain something. Brian is my Prince- he is there for me 24/7. He gives me a level of support that I have never had, and is someone that I know if the world crumbled around me, he would still be standing and be my rock. We are one another’s advocates.
4word: What do you look forward to the most about marriage?
Kellie: I look forward to being able to show Brian my commitment to him and this relationship. I was very fearful of marriage for a long time. As a young girl, I watched my mother struggle with trying to support herself and two children when my Dad left. I promised myself that I would never be in the same situation that my mother was in. Due to this, I became incredibly independent and headstrong. The fear I have of marriage is that you make yourself vulnerable, and open yourself up for the potential of someone who promised to be there always, eventually abandoning you. This is a fear that Brian and I both have talked through and I have prayed a lot about. It is through his love and God’s love, that I realized that the fear was keeping me from possibly having something amazing – a true union with a wonderful man that I loved deeply.
4word: Have you found your career interfering with your relationship?
Kellie: Yes. It is not an unusual thing for me to be up working at 5am, or staying up until to midnight to make sure that I have addressed the needs of my clients. I just recently changed companies in an effort to gain balance in my life and spend more time working on my relationship with Brian. I typically will work until he comes home, then I shut the computer down and will not address any business items until the next day at work so I can fully commit my time to our relationship.
4word: What advice do you have to our single readers who desire not only a successful career, but a fulfilling marriage as well?
Kellie: Take the blinders off, pick your head up and recognize what is going on around you. We are not given a never ending supply of time and the time you have, and the person you share your time with is an invaluable commodity. You will always have another email to send out; you will always have another deadline to make. You will not always have a time of laughter, shared smile, or squeeze of the hand of the person you have chosen to be with. Cherish those moments, and be present in those moments.
What about you- how do you think the “Prince Charming” idea affects relationships?