Christy Wright, #1 bestselling author of Business Boutique, Take Back Your Time, and Living True, shares her advice for keeping your confidence intact during and after a setback in your life. She also discusses the role community can play in helping you boost your self-confidence.

You can listen to this conversation with Christy on our podcast, Work, Love, Pray! Listen below or click here to find your preferred listening platform.

How do you come back from a setback with your confidence still intact? 

It really depends on what you’re aiming for. If you’re aiming for perfection, when you say face a setback, it will take you out. You’ll give up and just abandon the plan. I encourage people to go for something totally different: go for consistency and persistence instead of perfection. Stay being willing to try again, and again, and again. People that stay in that mindset are the ones that stay with goals and stay with life changes for the long haul. But you have to be willing to try again. You’re aiming for persistence, not for perfection.  

What should someone do when they lose their confidence and just can’t seem to get it back? 

That’s a great question. I would dig into the root of that situation, because if there’s a deeper issue going on there, like you are feeling very lost, confused, or overwhelmed, you’ve possibly lost a sense of yourself. The Enemy can really get a foothold when you’re in this situation. The Enemy can get a foothold in doubt, insecurity, and anxiety, because those are actually his specialty. If you look back at the Garden of Eden, the very first words out of the serpent’s mouth were, ‘Did God really say…’  

Satan’s specialty is making you doubt God and making you doubt yourself. So if you have a deep doubt going on, I feel like that is as spiritual of an issue as it is practical. Dig into your loss of confidence and ask, ‘What lies am I believing?’ I actually put out a podcast titled Three Lies You Need To Stop Believing. On that episode, I go through three specific lies that we all believe, and they’re not from God and they are not true. At the end of that episode, I offer my listeners some space to pray and ask God to reveal to them any lies they might be believing. I actually experienced this myself in a sermon years ago, and the Lord revealed to me a lie that I’d been believing that I did not know I’d been believing.

If you’re reading this right now and really struggling with doubt, I would have a head tilt and ask, ‘Are there some seeds there? Are there some lies that you’re believing about yourself that are not from God?’

Are there ways that your community can help you build your confidence? 

One of the lies that I shared on that same podcast episode is when the enemy plants in your mind that you are the only one that feels a certain way about something. If you believe the lie that you’re the only one that feels this way, then you’re not going to seek community because you feel like the weirdo. You’re not going to share your story or testimony, you’re not going to be vulnerable and share your struggles because you expect everyone is going to look at you like you’re weird. 

The Enemy knows the power of community. We were created and wired for community. Community is where breakthrough and edification happens, where we build each other up, find empathy and connection, realize we’re not alone, and encourage and carry each other through different seasons. Community can heal so many things going on in our lives, and the Enemy knows the power of that, which is why he’s whispering to you that you are the only one that feels this way.

When we are vulnerable and honest and show up as who we really are and we share what’s going on in our lives, the Holy Spirit moves in those spaces. There is power in community and because it’s so powerful, you can’t even define it. It’s not a formula; it’s just powerful. Don’t stay scared and silent, or you will never take hold of that community and you will never contribute to that community like you can.  

Do you have any favorite goal-setting resources? 

I actually created a goal-setting guide that you can find here on my website. In this goal-setting guide, I want you to consider some things that you probably never consider when you set goals. This is one of the big soap boxes I’ve been on for a few years, ever since I launched my book, Take Back Your Time. We set goals by simply dreaming of ideas, which is not a bad thing, but if we don’t pause and consider the season we’re in, we will set the wrong goals. 

Understanding the season you’re in will help you set goals that are right for you, right now. None of us need any more pressure and when you don’t consider the season that you’re in and you just make up ideas and set some goals, that’s exactly what they will become: pressure. 

Take inventory of where you are and determine what’s going on in your life before you set goals. Set goals that are right for right now, and you’re going to set yourself up for success. 

Christy Wright is the #1 bestselling author of Business Boutique, Take Back Your Time, and Living True. She is a certified business coach, dynamic speaker and personal development expert. Christy hosts two top-rated podcasts. On her show Get Your Hopes Up, she encourages people to get to know God, get closer to Him and get their hopes up again. Her Business Bootcamp show gives business owners the practical steps they want and the tough love truth they need to succeed. Christy has been featured on The Today Show and Fox News, and in Success, Entrepreneur, and Woman’s Day magazines.

Whether she’s running on stage in heels or running after her kids, coaching leaders or cleaning up goldfish crumbs, Christy makes the most out of life and loves to encourage others to do the same. Christy lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Matt, their three children Carter, Conley and Mary Grace, and their dog Cooper.